My Story

I grew up the youngest of five children. My father was a hard-working provider and a violent alcoholic. My mother was a dedicated homemaker doing the best she could to care for our large family given the unimaginable circumstances. She relied heavily on her faith which was the inspiration for my spiritual foundation. My first memory at age 4 of the verbal and emotional violence in my home fueled my desire for a better way of living.  My walk was riddled with the need to fix everything and everyone, even if that meant manipulating a situation to bring false peace. This caused me to carry a lot of rage and anger. 

Not surprisingly, some of the men I dated were emotionally unavailable or alcoholics. Not being able to fix anything, along with my need to please, were the burdens that eventually brought me to my knees. After my father passed in 1987, I was grieving and engaged to a man who I discovered was married. Even after learning of this, I still convinced myself that I was “the one” to make a difference in his life. Yikes! Through grief counseling and therapy, I was able to let the relationship go. The toxic relationship that followed 1 year later was the final straw! Looking back, I realize that beneath the need to fix and please, was my deeper calling to assist others in facilitating personal empowerment.

I met my future husband in 1988. Interestingly, this deep, loving, committed relationship exposed all of my dysfunctional patterns. We married in 1992 and began working with a life coach (Hope). We considered our time with her an investment for our relationship and ourselves. Today it has proven to be our most profitable investment yet. We learned the importance of taking full responsibility for our thoughts, words and actions. Attending and hosting several of Hope’s workshops, inspired me to create “Living With Ease,“ which transformed many times over the years and today is the “Valued-Living Workshop.” Hope gifted me with the understanding that self-responsible living is a life-long commitment.

As a result of this work, the relationships with my once splintered and dysfunctional family and friends, have evolved into a more awake, trustworthy and loving community. This required me to let go of some relationships in order to make room for more healthy ones.  I learned that it can take ONE person with the courage to exercise their values through their voice, to make a positive difference. It is with my dedication to self-responsible living that I continue my life-long calling to be an instrument of new possibilities!

With abundant gratitude,

Rita

I will forever be grateful to our beloved Dennis Brown (1925-2021) for introducing me to Core Values and being a rock solid example of how to live by them!